The media is having a field day with any variation of Spies Like Flies.  It has been a huge shock to everyone – not!

Snowden (may his armpits (and other parts) be infested with the fleas of a thousand camels!) has not only proven to be a traitor (nasty, horrible things) but has continued to cause damage to western intelligence services (the good guys, contrary to whatever you read in the papers), especially the NSA (the National Security Agency of the United States of Americaland) and our own GCHQ (General Communications Headquarters) whom work hand in hand.

First it was the fact that these information gathering agencies had monitored mobile phone communications in Europe (Cell phones for those in the colonies).  Then the French got a bee in their bonnet over the fact that they had been ‘spied’ on, which is technically and grammatically incorrect as to ‘spy’ comes from espy which basically means ‘to watch’.  Let’s face it, nobody wants to watch the French.  What’s to see?  Left wing, pinko, socialist farmers going on strike because the UK and Germany haven’t given them enough subsidies?  Not only that, people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones!  Why anyone would want to live in a greenhouse is besides the point, the French are renowned for sticking their gaelic noses into places they don’t belong, like passing on secret information from NATO to the Iraqis prior to the war in Iraq.

Not long after the French whinging like little children (it was, after all, just a political ploy), Der Spiegel stated that it had documents proving that the Americans had bugged the Chancellor’s mobile phone.  For a start, it wasn’t bugged.  No foreign object was inserted, into the phone, as for anything else, well, they are German!  Angela Merkel (the chancellor) phoned the US president and asked him if it was true.  When you stop and think about it, this is a bit silly on so many levels.  First off, is he really going to admit that he was?  Secondly, do you really think the president is aware of all the people that the NSA happen to monitor when they are scanning the airwaves?

The prez said that it wasn’t true (of course it wasn’t) and a statement was issued from the White House (which isn’t completely white cos the British burnt it down when the ungrateful colony rebelled against it’s mother country and it’s barking mad King) which was a subtle as a couple of bricks clapped together on a camel’s balls!  The NSA wasn’t listening in on Ms Merkel’s phone and they wouldn’t do it again, I mean, in the future.

Now Spain has joined in and started complaining that allies don’t do this sort of thing.  SINCE WHEN?  How the Spanish consider themselves allies when they never help with anything near no conviction, is beyond me.  They are too busy appointing relatives to positions in the government and getting rich while their economy goes down the spout.  They have as much right to complain as Silvio Berlusconi denying he ever had drunken orgies!

Anyway, the Europeans had a meeting and all complained about how naughty America was (no mention of GCHQ (phew!)) and even our own PM had to show unity and agree (although he had his fingers crossed under the table).  Now they want to ratify a new agreement where allies don’t spy on allies.  Erm, ok, sure.  Let’s face it, the only way these people knew that information was being collected from their countries was because a treacherous scumbag spilled the beans.  If it wasn’t for Snowden (I need a shower just thinking that name), none of them would be any wiser and this ridiculous fracas wouldn’t be wasting everyones time.  There are more important things to be getting on with, like getting Europe out of a depression!

The only reason this has all blown up out of proportion is because the press and media have gone on and on and on and on and on and on about it.  You would have to be a complete ignoramus if you thought that we weren’t all ‘spying’ on each other.  Of course we are!!  Wiki-leeks proved that several years ago!  Are people really that dumb?  Of course they are.  Most of them have the attention span of a dead goldfish that was braindead to begin with!

Not only that, they are complaining about the fact that there is a ‘five eyes’ community (the US, UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand abbreviated AUSCANUKUSNZ and often pronounced as ‘oz-can-noo-kus’) and why should there be an alliance within an alliance?  Really?  As if political parties don’t do the same!  So, now Europe wants in and that’s never going to happen.  This debacle isn’t over by a long shot!

Now, let’s pretend we’re all adults and think about this.  For a start, at the lower level of the information gathering scale there are going to be businesses trying to find out about their competition, trying to find trade secrets and the like.  Everyone knows it happens and yet nobody complains.  However, it would be too simplistic to compare these two together.  The monitoring of the airwaves is serious business and although the fact that someone might be listening to rude conversations will get the civil rights fanatics hysterical, the fact remains that Europe is the gateway to Africa, the middle-east and Asia.  That’s not going to change for quite a few millennia and until that change, bad people who want to hurt us are going to make the most of that gateway.

The NSA aren’t interested in who is shagging who or what unless that who could be dangerous because, like it or not, we rely on their ‘snooping’ for our security; something we take far too much for granted without thinking about how it is maintained.  The morons and idiots who think Snowden should receive a nobel peace prize for what he has done should be packed into a shipping container and sent off to join him.  That man has done more harm than people are willing to understand.  All they think about is the violation of our civil rights.  Well, here’s a thought, if you think our civil rights are being violated, pack your bags and go and live in Somalia or even Saudi Arabia.  Maybe you’ll appreciate your rights then!

Since 11/9 (I’m British so I put the date before the month!) the intelligence community have foiled numerous attempts by people who see no value in our lives.  There have been numerous plans to kill hundreds of those same people who scream out for civil liberties.  The intelligence community have a hard enough job as it is, without the added grief created by traitors like Snowden.  They have to be spot on all the time as a single ‘mistake’ or ‘taking the eye off the ball’ could result in something horrific.  It’s then that people start blaming them for not doing their job when only days earlier they wanted exactly that – stopping them from doing their job.

So, for all of you that think that the Americans have gone too far and think they can get away with anything, wake up and smell the coffee.  The world is a nasty place but you are protected from it by people like those in the NSA, GCHQ and the like.  Some of them even put their lives at risk just so yours isn’t.  Not everybody agrees with our way of life and some of them seek to disrupt it in ways that we find abhorrent.  We take our security and safety for granted.  Stop and think about how those people are working tirelessly to ensure that we can continue to take it for granted and be none the wiser for knowing how.

No camels were harmed during the production of this rant.